


And the Night is Like a Dagger

by Catw00man



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Community: fma_fic_contest, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catw00man/pseuds/Catw00man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'll leave behind more than smoke rings in the dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Night is Like a Dagger

**Author's Note:**

> For inspiration for this story I used Gary Allen's [Smoke Rings in the Dark](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLKFcJI6hWA). The word limit killed me--I wanted to add so much more--but I do like how this came out. The title is also pulled from the song because I just felt like it fit. It's a beautiful song if you haven't heard it.
> 
> Written for the [fma_fic_contest](http://fma-fic-contest.livejournal.com) where it took 4th place for the prompt: _Song Lyrics_

  


Jean blows out a long stream of smoke into the darkness and leans against the wooden railing of the steps he's sitting on. He watches the smoke dissipate, melting away into the darkness and tries not to feel that's what he's done. He had no choice. He was useless to them like this. He had no option but to go back home and get out of the way.

He takes another slow drag off his cigarette and closes his eyes. He'd forgotten how amazingly quiet it was out in the country. There was a time he savored clear nights like this, but now the silence is deafening. Central seemed so loud and obnoxious when the Colonel first drug him out there, but now he'd give anything to hear the sounds of the city, a random car horn, the echo of gunfire from the shooting range that was always within earshot of his dorm. It's too damn quiet. But he knows that's not why the night is weighing on him cold and sharp despite the warmth of the late summer night.

He's lonely. And that fact alone weighs at his soul in a way he never expected.

The loneliness burns as slow as the whiskey Mustang would pull from his desk when things got out of hand, and it's something he never expected. He used to love the quiet peace of the country but now he'd give anything for it to be interrupted by Falman's persistent awkwardness or Breda's prodding for a game of chess when he knew Jean didn't stand a chance. He'd savor the smell of dust burning on the vacuum tube radios Feury would tinker with or the scent of gun oil as Hawkeye meticulously kept her firearms in pristine condition. He'd even relish the sound of Fullmetal kicking in the door and the heavy clank-clank shuffling of his brother behind him if it meant he didn't have to be here now.

He can almost hear Mustang's frustrated voice as he tries to out do Fullmetal and Hawkeye's soft sigh as their breach of protocol wafts into the main room. A smile touches his lips but it fades the instant he opens his eyes because that image is as insubstantial as the smoke drifting off the end of his cigarette. Even if he weren't an invalid sitting on his parents' porch steps he knows those days are gone. He'd have been transferred like the rest of them, useless to the cause.

Jean takes a pull of his cigarette then blows a couple perfectly formed smoke rings, something Hawkeye was always amazed by though she tried to deny it. The rings fade away to nothing and he comes to a decision. That won't be him. He'll find a way to make a difference. Somehow he won't let this silence shatter his empty, aching soul. He snuffs out his cigarette then reaches for the rail to pull himself into his chair. He won't fade away like smoke rings in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> * A little author's note. YES I used the word "drug," but I'm a little southern girl and we say that! ;-) Normally I'd correct it but since this is in Jean's voice I decided he could have a little bit of country in him like me. :-)
> 
> Comments and concrit are always loved and appreciated! :-)


End file.
